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What the heart wants (Soul)

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What the heart wants (Soul)

Post by Requiem on Sat 03 Dec 2016, 13:58



 Clara walked up the stairs to the flat, she unlocked the door and walked into the darkness. The job she had got back from had kept her busy for a few days, she had stayed focused and not thought of anything else. But it was over too quickly. Every job she had immersed herself in had been the same way, and she always ended up back here. She leaned against the door as she closed it, looking around at the empty home. She didn't even want to switch on the light, what would she see? Nothing and no one. A constant reminder of what she had lost, yet she couldn't bring herself to move from this home. She sighed to herself and switched on the lights, trying not to glance around at the place, instead she b-lined for the table and put her stuff down, removing her coat and bag and then straight to the fridge to grab a 6 pack of beers. This was her routine, work, get drunk, work some more. a never ending cycle of someone trying to not drown in their grief.

 Clara popped open a beer and went to the bathroom, running the shower. She let the steam surround her and wiped the fog from the mirror looking at her face covered in specks of blood. She stared at herself for a moment before closing her eyes and clenching her jaw. Gulping the beer she removed her clothes and stepped in the shower washing off the blood from her job and washing away the day. The rush of the water in her ears was always a sweet relief from her thoughts and she stayed in there far longer than she needed to.  After a time, Clara made her way back into the lounge, changing into  joggers and Soul's hoody that she hadn't been able to part with. She sat herself down with her beers and her tv, trying to immerse herself in anything while she drowned her sorrows in drink. She sent a quick text to Karne, informing him of her recent job, she had suitcase packed to the brim with blood bags she had lifted. She still hadn't been able to go to Death Manor. What would she do if she was there? She would not be able to do anything, not how she was now.

 A few hours past, and many more beers until Clara was too drunk to stand straight. She looked around the flat where she sat and anger filled her, why did he have to die? Why Soul, why Luca? Why al the good ones?  She stood and threw her beer at the wall opposite, watching the glass shatter and cascade down to the ground. Sighing she sat down again, willing herself to sleep, just sleep and be away from the world. Tomorrow she would go to another job until she was back here once more.

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Requiem

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Re: What the heart wants (Soul)

Post by Soul Tygetsu on Sun 04 Dec 2016, 07:13



There weren’t enough words to describe the weight of trauma that played on the human mind. The Immortals had been forced to learn to deal with the real hard experiences in life, killing to survive often meant spending ones time in the company of death more so often than not and even while some mortals came close to relating to the isolated and cold mentality and lack of care that was bred through violence and great personal conflict, Clara hadn’t yet reached that point. If she had, then she wouldn’t be spending her nights in the bottom of a bottle and her days taking her grief out on others, whether Immortal or otherwise.

Let’s be honest, you’ve been in worse states…”.

His voice broke the silence of the room in much the same way her beer bottle had smashed against the wall and shattered the fragments of reality and all common sense. To her right, seated at the table across from her, Soul Tygetsu sat with one leg raised and crossed atop the other, a beer in his left hand supported by the table top and a cigarette in the right, lifted up in front of his eyes as if he were inspecting it in some sort of tired intrigue.

They tell you these things will kill you, ya’ know…-If only they knew the truth about the world we share, hm?”.

He turned to look across to her, his eyes soft and caring, those blue human hues offering a sense of reprieve from all her guilt and sorrow. The way that the corner of his mouth would rise in a sort of sheepish half smirk as he watched her, that corner of her mind taking her further into her trauma and seeing him for what he had been before he had been killed.

I take it your little ruse with the Witches didn’t quite play out the way you’d expected huh”.

Finally that part of her mind that would feel the buried frustration for the last conversation they’d shared, reared its ugly head and he brought up the subject as if it were nothing, as if she were lying to herself, Soul portrayed it in the casual humor and gentle care that he had usually held for the way things went around them.



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Re: What the heart wants (Soul)

Post by Requiem on Sat 10 Dec 2016, 10:22



Clara slumped on the couch, half hanging off as her eyes stared down at the floor of the flat. She had drunk too much but still sleep would not offer her the relief she needed. Tomorrow was another day, if she didn't sleep, it would just start sooner than intended. She heard Soul talk to her and she laughed a little, ''Honestly, I don't know if I have..'' She said before her eyes widened and she sat bolt up right, did she just imagine Soul's voice? She glanced around the room quickly, her heart beating ten fold. She froze as she saw a figure seated with a leg up at the table, she could barely breath as she just traced the lines of the all too familiar body, her eyes going over his entire person, ''Soul?'' The question came out in the faintest whisper. No, no how could he possibly be sitting right in front of her in his usual casual way. She could even smell the cigarette in his hand and she grabbed her chest a moment, feeling like she was about to have a panic attack.

 She stepped towards him slowly, He spoke about something but she couldn't hear him, blood rushing to her ears as she stepped closer and closer to him, her eyes fixed on his. She knew he wasn't real, this was her mind adding insult to injury, she had cracked under the pressure. He was not really here, and yet, she wouldn't make herself wake up either.

 He met her eyes and she felt an overwhelming emotion as she studied him. She stopped beside him staring down at him where he sat. Moving a hand to touch his face, she gasped, she could feel him, his warmth, his skin, ''What the hell...'' She said quietly as a tear rolled down her cheek. Clara hated herself even more now, her mind tormenting her even more than it already did. It was cruel.

 Clara kept her hand on Soul's cheek, not able to take it away yet, she smiled at him, ''No, it didn't.'' She said giving in to her hallucination, ''You were right and I'm sorry.'' She took a deep breath, ''I'm so sorry.''  She bent forward and leant into him, wrapping her arms around him, ''I know you're not real. I know that, but I am sorry, I'm sorry for leaving you and not coming back in time. And now you're gone..'' She could have asked him a million questions, but she would be asking her own imagination, instead she just wanted to stay like this, feeling the warmth of the man that she loved, even if it wasn't real.

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Re: What the heart wants (Soul)

Post by Soul Tygetsu on Mon 23 Jan 2017, 02:50



You’re talking to a dead man, Babe. That’s some kinda crazy…”.

Soul smiled back at Clara, his head tilting to press his cheek against the touch of her palm. In truth, Clara was there alone reaching out not to anybody else but her hand upon her own cheek. She knew it but she did not see it as the rest of the world would, he was a past life reimagined through the tragedy of loss and stress of conflicts known to few living men or women in the land; even by Arcane’s standards of living.

Though all in all, seems I’m not completely gone. Not exactly hard to see why too…”.

Like the rest of her mind, he was a part of who she was and she had brought him here. Perhaps not intentionally but she seemed to be desperately searching for some sort of escape. She had killed herself once and come back, it wasn’t all that hard to believe that the prospect of suicide was something that had proven itself not to be a permanent fix given the type of people they had been involved with.

What’s happened to me isn’t your fault. We both know that, if we didn’t both know it then I wouldn’t be saying it to you, Babe. We fought, we stopped seeing each other and you went off to do your thing. I was the same; none of that puts you at fault…”.

Clara being as traumatized as she was might not have the mind to recognize that she was consoling herself through the vision of him, but he was effectively her subconscious now, the back of the mind that did not talk in words but in motor functions usually deprived of human recognition. The things that best come out in illusive dreams across the night.

You disappeared, true…-But so did Karne and I years ago. None of you ever let us forget it but hey, I’m dead so I’m pretty sure you’re safe as far as lectures and subtle expectations of failure, go”.

He laughed softly, raising a hand to squeeze her own that she thought rest against his face, it was a subtle show of affection given that in truth she really didn’t hold a great deal for herself in the moment. All in all, Soul was still his same old carefree self, or at least she was seeing how he acted out in the public light once again. Perhaps the remembrance of his guilt and frustrations over the two warring races wasn’t the best thing to be seeing again during such a time, thus Soul…-The real Soul might have been thankful that she could bar those images out for the time being.

Like I said, you really do look like shit though love…”.

He took her by the arm and helped her to stand up to her feet. Clara moving on her own against her own reason, led by a man she loved who didn’t truly exist anymore and leading her towards the bathroom.

There’s still a lot of shit you gotta take care of out there but it can all wait, you really need a shower…”.


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Re: What the heart wants (Soul)

Post by Requiem on Mon 23 Jan 2017, 15:02



 Clara laughed a little as Soul called her crazy, she knew she was past breaking point here, to imagine her dead boyfriend? Yea, she needed to sort it out, but he felt so real to her, he was even in the reflection of the mirror. Maybe she could just get away with imagining him like this forever, it was better than not seeing him or hearing his voice. ''You'll never be gone, Soul.'' She said with a sad smile, ''Not for as long as I am here.'' And he wouldn't be, out of all of the people she had met in her life, he had affected her the most from the moment she met him breaking into his then dojo.

 She brushed off his comment out when he had previously disappeared on her with Karne, it seemed so pointless now, none of that mattered, none of the disappearing acts or the arguments, all that mattered was that they always got through them, but this time, he had left her in a way where she could do nothing to fix it except for her broken mind creating this fake scenario. She squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head at herself, this was insane.

 His laugh, oh that laugh, how she had missed that. She opened her eyes again to the feel of his hand on her face. He was happy in this hallucination, at least her crazed mind had given her that and not something far worse. ''Thanks.'' She laughed as he said again that she looked like shit. ''Oh what a gentleman.'' He was leading her away to take a much needed shower and she was grateful, taking a shower had not been on her list of things to do. She had just been living day to day doing things to keep herself occupied, showering hadn't been one of them. ''Thanks, Soul. The man of reason.'' She smiled, before turning on the water and getting undressed. Part of her hadn't wanted to let go of his hand, it felt like letting go of him for good.

 ''I won't be long. Please don't go anywhere.'' She said before stepping into the shower and pulling across the curtain. She sighed as the warm water cascaded over her, letting it soak into her hair. Closing her eyes she pictured that smiling face of his and that laugh. She smiled herself as she washed her body and then her hair, the soap eventually running away to clear the water.

 Clara stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around herself, stepping out into the living area quickly to find Soul again. And she found him, she stopped dead and gasped as the man standing in from of her had a bullet hole in his head, blood dripping down his pale face, she looked at his eyes and watched as the light went out of them, ''No....'' She slid towards his now slumped body, grabbing it in her arms, pulling him in towards her, ''Why are you doing this?'' She screamed and looked down to the body in her arms. It was no longer Soul, but Luca, she pulled away as she stared at his lifeless face, ''Stop it!'' She screamed at herself, rubbing her temples hard and closing her eyes. When she opened them again it was her parents bodies in lying on the floor in front of her, and she felt like a little girl again, having just seen her parent's murder, ''Stop..'' She said weakly, bringing her knees up to her chest and hugging herself, her body rocking back and forth to offer a little comfort.  ''No, no, no. Stop this.'' She buried her face against her knees hard and stayed like that for a few moments before braving herself enough to open them and look up again.

 When she did, she saw nothing but her empty apartment, she breathed out harshly and wiped her tear stained eyes, but she couldn't move, she just stared at the floor in front of her where her mind had began to torture her.

- End Thread-

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